A Good Attitude Stinks – a BonBon

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A Good Attitude Stinks

A BonBon – Faith Lynella

You CANNOT get through life on a good attitude.

What you need is instead an attitude that is good—one that brings you joy.

A good attitude is better than a bad attitude, but that’s about all. Although we are often urged to have a good attitude, it is not a good thing. It is a counterfeit of something good. It’s what you have settled for instead of getting what you really wanted.

A good attitude is based on “I don’t like this, but I’ll be good about it, or “I’m having a terrible time, but I’ll pretend it’s O.K.” When did you have to have a good attitude about something you really enjoyed doing? It’s unthinkable!

Enjoyment and a good attitude are opposites. Who would be sincerely pleased about a counterfeit reward? The more things you have a good attitude about, the more things you really don’t get to enjoy. So, don’t be so proud of having a good attitude—it’s not the right answer. It is partly right (bad attitude is also not the right answer), but it’s simply not enough.

Whenever you find that you are having a good attitude, recognize it as a clue that “there is something amiss here.” Like a determined detective, you must take a closer look; search for other clues. Look with candor and see what it is you don’t like. Often it is something that others have imposed on you, like rigid rules or powerplay. Sometimes, it can’t be changed, like the weather or a personal tragedy.

Whatever it is, say to yourself, “Instead of having a good attitude about his, I’m going to find a way to enjoy myself anyway. I’m going to find some way, however small, where this situation cannot dictate how I must react. And I’m going to turn it into something positive for myself.” That effort shifts you from feeling powerless to gearing up to discover an outcome that would be even better. You have also avoided the smelly trap of a good attitude. Instead, you’ve demonstrated “an attitude that is good. Notice how totally terrific you feel!

Such detective work is very powerful and satisfying. Once  such clues start coming to you attention, there’s no telling what else you’ll solve—and how good you’ll feel, again and again and again.

– From BonBons to Nourish Your Daily Life   The Book

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